Hello South Sudan!

I've left the comforts of Ottawa to rejoin field life. Working in policy research is a different kind of challenging, and although I really appreciated the experience, I was beginning to become rather bored. It was really hard to break out of a programming mentality and focus on academia.

On a field research trip I realised - when interviewing NGOs and CSOs - that I was incredibly homesick for projects, and programs, and "doing things". This feeling translated into my work when I returned to Canada, leaving me desperate to get back to implementing and designing projects rather than researching policy alternatives. I needed to get back to there. Not necessarily "in the field", but back in that line of work.

Policy research is extremely important, and I have been so fortunate to have the experience, but there are so many people that are academically focused and would have killed for my job. I, on the other hand, saw it as a stepping stone to gaining experience in a niche area.

So I'm back with the old org. Back in the thick of it. No longer in the Middle East, but in East Africa.

Hello South Sudan!

If it's not for you - it's ok to get out

I have a couple of posts about how to get into aid work. I've been invited to speak on a couple of occasions to university students and to young people about aid work.  Most of the questions are about how to break in.

I usually try to stay pretty positive, but realistic – not mincing words about how much you may need to schlep before you “break in”. I have warned people looking at this field of work of the difficulties they may face – namely that the work may not be for the a) faint of heart or b) easily annoyed. I had not thought – however- to tell people that it is ok to quit. And more importantly, that it will not ruin your career. The message is important, and not one I’d thought sharing before.

Alanna Shaikh at Blood and Milk wrote a post on quitting the Peace Corps back in November.  I had wanted to post this for a while. It think it is an extremely important message – not just for Peace Corps volunteers, but anyone heading off on a longer term volunteer/internship program that really would like to take on a career in humanitarian aid and development. In Canada this could be CUSO VSO or the International Youth Internship Program which comparably throws you out of your comfort zone. The position could be wrong for you. You may feel isolated, lonely, homesick or worse, unsafe. There are a number of reasons why this particular position may not be the right fit - it doesn't mean that your not cut out for aid and/or development work. 

I wish someone had said this to me. I had an internship where the head of the office was verbally abusive to all staff, and physically abusive to some. There were times where I actually thought I was in physical danger. Colleagues were physically ill with stress when he was in the office. But I did not think I could quit because I worried that I would not have another shot at an international internship or job. So I stuck it out and eventually was moved. I know now that I likely could have jumped ship and started over. I may have taken a different path, but I could still have worked in the same field.

So I have taken note. I’m sharing the post. And in the future I will be sure to mention that it is ok to quit. 

Working in relief or development

As with many of us that work in the field of international relief or development, we're regularly approached by people asking whether we can advise them or their [Insert child/friend/relative] on how to get jobs in the field. I usually rally off the same stuff. However, thanks to Good Intentions Are Not Enough I was directed to this blog posting from a couple of years ago that is really great written by Alanna Shaikh (of many other blogs fame). I may use it in the future.

Why you probably can't get an international job (and what to do about that)

Good Intentions also has a great series on volunteering internationally as well.

I wish I had found these earlier ... so much less writing!

The burn out...

Apparently my last post was on January 31 2010. Since then so many things have happened. Elections... (didn't care), Settlement Debacle in West Bank... (could have written a good post), Hiking Club in Kurdistan... (meh... it's fun).

Finally something did prompt me - its what I would call... the burn-out.

I wikipediaed burnout. I wikipedia everything. It states that "burnout is a psychological term for the experience of long-term exhaustion and diminished interest." This pretty much explains my general state for the past 2 months - possibly longer.

I think, well I know, it's an affliction that hits many people in the aid field (and probably a lot of other professions). A common complaint that is heard is how understaffed projects and offices are by NGOs, the one I work for is no exception. There is too much work, and in a lot of cases insufficient capacity to conduct high level programming that is expected of international NGOs and international organisations. This leads to staff who are consistently overworked with no end in site. A co-worker of mine calls it "Emergency Mode".

Although "Emergency Mode" compounded with a harsh environment may make matters worse, this affliction transcends location and even context. Because aid workers (and development workers) work in Emergency Mode all the time... Even when there isn't an emergency.

Iraq has many needs, and there are the occasional emergencies that pop up. The fact is however, it is no longer an Emergency Context (I’m sure people will debate that - but I stick by it). Large amounts of people are not in need en masse of direct and immediate humanitarian assistance. Particularly not in the KRG where I am based.

I have never worked in an actual emergency context where emergency mode is acceptable. I'm not sure if an emergency context makes emergency mode easier to sustain? However I do know that it is not sustainable in an non-emergency context. I'm proof.

Signs of burnout:
- Neglecting needs and interests
- Withdrawal from social activities (or in some cases acting out through social activities... often negative ones)
- Denial
- Change in behaviour (such as becoming snappy or quick to anger)
- Depression
- Limited attention span

I also experienced fatigue and an inability to cope with certain situations, and finally it lead to not caring too much about anything. The whole process once I realised it was happening was very frustrating as well, because it stressed me out because I could not work as well as I use to.

Ways to cope/prevent:
- Excercise
- Ensure that you take time for yourself
- Take your R&R (or vacation) on time!!!
- Confide in a trusted friend or look into getting a life coach

And because the above may not be possible, make sure you take time out between postings. A good suggested amount is about 3 months.

I am fortunate to work for an organisation that provides free counselling services, not only in emergencies. Through talking with someone I learned that what I was experiencing in my line of work was normal, and to not beat myself up for how I was feeling, or even my performance level.

Many organisations understand that people need time off in between posts. It is easy as someone just starting out to feel like you need to continuously work otherwise you may not get another job. However, in a lot of cases this is not the case. It is in the NGOs interest to promote breaks in between posts so that people taking up new jobs are fresh and able to perform well. It is also in the NGOs interest to retain good staff.

It is common to take time off and still stay within the same organisation (but you can also move if you need to).

I'm not sure when my burnout happened exactly. Probably the day after my last post. I should have seen all the signs coming. But those are famous last words. I have decide to take my advice and take some time off (about 3 months) - spending time sleeping, learning, seeing friends and family and chilling out.