Apparently my last post was on January 31 2010. Since then so many things have happened. Elections... (didn't care), Settlement Debacle in West Bank... (could have written a good post), Hiking Club in Kurdistan... (meh... it's fun).
Finally something did prompt me - its what I would call... the burn-out.
I wikipediaed burnout. I wikipedia everything. It states that "burnout is a psychological term for the experience of long-term exhaustion and diminished interest." This pretty much explains my general state for the past 2 months - possibly longer.
I think, well I know, it's an affliction that hits many people in the aid field (and probably a lot of other professions). A common complaint that is heard is how understaffed projects and offices are by NGOs, the one I work for is no exception. There is too much work, and in a lot of cases insufficient capacity to conduct high level programming that is expected of international NGOs and international organisations. This leads to staff who are consistently overworked with no end in site. A co-worker of mine calls it "Emergency Mode".
Although "Emergency Mode" compounded with a harsh environment may make matters worse, this affliction transcends location and even context. Because aid workers (and development workers) work in Emergency Mode all the time... Even when there isn't an emergency.
Iraq has many needs, and there are the occasional emergencies that pop up. The fact is however, it is no longer an Emergency Context (I’m sure people will debate that - but I stick by it). Large amounts of people are not in need en masse of direct and immediate humanitarian assistance. Particularly not in the KRG where I am based.
I have never worked in an actual emergency context where emergency mode is acceptable. I'm not sure if an emergency context makes emergency mode easier to sustain? However I do know that it is not sustainable in an non-emergency context. I'm proof.
Signs of burnout:
- Neglecting needs and interests
- Withdrawal from social activities (or in some cases acting out through social activities... often negative ones)
- Denial
- Change in behaviour (such as becoming snappy or quick to anger)
- Depression
- Limited attention span
I also experienced fatigue and an inability to cope with certain situations, and finally it lead to not caring too much about anything. The whole process once I realised it was happening was very frustrating as well, because it stressed me out because I could not work as well as I use to.
Ways to cope/prevent:
- Excercise
- Ensure that you take time for yourself
- Take your R&R (or vacation) on time!!!
- Confide in a trusted friend or look into getting a life coach
And because the above may not be possible, make sure you take time out between postings. A good suggested amount is about 3 months.
I am fortunate to work for an organisation that provides free counselling services, not only in emergencies. Through talking with someone I learned that what I was experiencing in my line of work was normal, and to not beat myself up for how I was feeling, or even my performance level.
Many organisations understand that people need time off in between posts. It is easy as someone just starting out to feel like you need to continuously work otherwise you may not get another job. However, in a lot of cases this is not the case. It is in the NGOs interest to promote breaks in between posts so that people taking up new jobs are fresh and able to perform well. It is also in the NGOs interest to retain good staff.
It is common to take time off and still stay within the same organisation (but you can also move if you need to).
I'm not sure when my burnout happened exactly. Probably the day after my last post. I should have seen all the signs coming. But those are famous last words. I have decide to take my advice and take some time off (about 3 months) - spending time sleeping, learning, seeing friends and family and chilling out.
