My that's a big bag you have?

Do you really need that much stuff for one week?

I have heard this a lot in Juba. I went down for a week with my 70L backpack. Admittedly it was a bit too big of a bag coming down. But it was only 1/3 full. I'd brought it with a purpose. To bring back food. 

I'd made the fatale flaw of not booking extra cargo for food when I first moved up. (NB: I don't actually mean "food". I mean chocolate, cookies, nuts, gum, cheese etc.) I went to the grocery store, took note of what I needed to get and then figured I’d have people bring stuff up to me, or I could stock up later.

Wrong.

When I went back to find this.

Instead I got this.

Clearly I hadn’t learned from the Great Iraqi Diet Coke Shortage of 2008. Where foreign workers would drive to the borders of Turkey, Syria and Iran if they heard so much as a rumour that a shop owner had a spare flat of the silver bullet.

The rule is: If you see something you think could be a rare commodity… like Special K  - or in my case McVities Digestives – YOU BUY ALL OF THEM BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN IT WILL COME BACK.

So I went to the store and bought everything. 

And that is why my bag is so big. 

Iraqi men give advice to Libyans (also presumably men)

I was a little peeved by this article by Michael Schmidt in the NYT's on advice Iraqis could give to Libyans post "Liberation".

I though the premise was ok, interesting even. The situations are not that similar, but enough so for journalists to make comparisons. But I was extremely disappointed to read that the viewpoints solicited were only from men.

I worked in Iraq for a while. I can think of a few women there that would have some sound advice for Libyans, particularly concerning the erosion of women's rights and the rights of minorities. Are the viewpoints of men the only voices that count? And the Libyans receiving this advice – are they also only men?

There is a paucity of women present in the rebel movement to topple the Ghaddafi regime. I think there is one in the transitional council (responsible for legal AND women's affairs). The violence has taken focus away from the fact that after Ghaddafi, freedom – or liberation as the article puts it - may only exist for men in Libya. Unlike in Egypt where the participation of women in the revolution was lauded, and the exclusion of women from decision making decried, we are extremely silent on what the Libyan revolution means for half the population of the country. There are a few accounts of females fighting or on life at the home front but much of the media coverage only shows men.

I would be extremely interested to see an article showing the views and suggestions of various members of the population, including women, but also of different ages, backgrounds and locations. Iraqis have a lot of advice to share about experiments in statebuilding - male and female.

A Long-Awaited Day - NYTimes.com

A Long-Awaited Day - NYTimes.com

aaaannnnddd we're back!

SO after several months of jumping off the blogosphere I am back.

After some intense months in the wonderful country of Iraq, I decided that it was time for a much needed break from everything Aid related. I didn't even read the news... aside from Celebrity Gossip (a habit I thought would die as my stress levels decreased... But apparently this is one addiction that is incredibly hard to ditch, even when you are able to stomach real news once again).

I'm now moving back into the working world, this time on the HQ/Think Tanky side of things for the next little bit in my home and native land. I'm excited because it is an opportunity to begin specialising in areas of interest. I'm also interested in seeing how long I stave off itchy feet before I want to move. My money's on winter - I haven't lived through an north-eastern North American winter in about 4 years. From what I recall, there's nothing better than two feet of snow and -40C to make you want to run to the DRC. But we'll see.

I will be blogging at least for the next little while, once again about my favourite topic... conflict. Youth and conflict, gender and conflict, conflict and conflict.

Glad to be back.

The burn out...

Apparently my last post was on January 31 2010. Since then so many things have happened. Elections... (didn't care), Settlement Debacle in West Bank... (could have written a good post), Hiking Club in Kurdistan... (meh... it's fun).

Finally something did prompt me - its what I would call... the burn-out.

I wikipediaed burnout. I wikipedia everything. It states that "burnout is a psychological term for the experience of long-term exhaustion and diminished interest." This pretty much explains my general state for the past 2 months - possibly longer.

I think, well I know, it's an affliction that hits many people in the aid field (and probably a lot of other professions). A common complaint that is heard is how understaffed projects and offices are by NGOs, the one I work for is no exception. There is too much work, and in a lot of cases insufficient capacity to conduct high level programming that is expected of international NGOs and international organisations. This leads to staff who are consistently overworked with no end in site. A co-worker of mine calls it "Emergency Mode".

Although "Emergency Mode" compounded with a harsh environment may make matters worse, this affliction transcends location and even context. Because aid workers (and development workers) work in Emergency Mode all the time... Even when there isn't an emergency.

Iraq has many needs, and there are the occasional emergencies that pop up. The fact is however, it is no longer an Emergency Context (I’m sure people will debate that - but I stick by it). Large amounts of people are not in need en masse of direct and immediate humanitarian assistance. Particularly not in the KRG where I am based.

I have never worked in an actual emergency context where emergency mode is acceptable. I'm not sure if an emergency context makes emergency mode easier to sustain? However I do know that it is not sustainable in an non-emergency context. I'm proof.

Signs of burnout:
- Neglecting needs and interests
- Withdrawal from social activities (or in some cases acting out through social activities... often negative ones)
- Denial
- Change in behaviour (such as becoming snappy or quick to anger)
- Depression
- Limited attention span

I also experienced fatigue and an inability to cope with certain situations, and finally it lead to not caring too much about anything. The whole process once I realised it was happening was very frustrating as well, because it stressed me out because I could not work as well as I use to.

Ways to cope/prevent:
- Excercise
- Ensure that you take time for yourself
- Take your R&R (or vacation) on time!!!
- Confide in a trusted friend or look into getting a life coach

And because the above may not be possible, make sure you take time out between postings. A good suggested amount is about 3 months.

I am fortunate to work for an organisation that provides free counselling services, not only in emergencies. Through talking with someone I learned that what I was experiencing in my line of work was normal, and to not beat myself up for how I was feeling, or even my performance level.

Many organisations understand that people need time off in between posts. It is easy as someone just starting out to feel like you need to continuously work otherwise you may not get another job. However, in a lot of cases this is not the case. It is in the NGOs interest to promote breaks in between posts so that people taking up new jobs are fresh and able to perform well. It is also in the NGOs interest to retain good staff.

It is common to take time off and still stay within the same organisation (but you can also move if you need to).

I'm not sure when my burnout happened exactly. Probably the day after my last post. I should have seen all the signs coming. But those are famous last words. I have decide to take my advice and take some time off (about 3 months) - spending time sleeping, learning, seeing friends and family and chilling out.

Danger Zones 2010

The Guardian has released its top 10 troublespots for 2010. Iraq isn't on it! Which is pretty fantastic given the elections will occur this coming March and things are already starting to heat up. I dig the positivity... (or the Iraq-Fatigue?)

Maybe they don't include ongoing and constant trouble spots - Afghanistan is not... oh wait yes it is there?

Maybe it's that, sadly, everywhere is actually much worse? Yes.. even Belgium.

Happy Happy Holidays!

It's CrazyEndOfGrant period here, so I have not had time to eat vegetables let alone write for fun!

Christmas this year coincided with the Shia’ festival of Ashura. It is the commemoration of the death of the Imam Hussein, a grandson of the Prophet Mohammed. Hundreds of thousands of pilgrims make their way to the holy city of Karbala to pay homage to the Imam. Some even practice “bloodletting” which can include whipping oneself. But while the rest of the country was on high alert with the clash of religious festivals, up north in Sunni Kurdistan (did you catch that play on words) Christmas was in full swing. For a predominantly Muslim region, the love of Santa Clause or “Baba Noel” (commonly pictured with a saxophone?) is unparallel. If coke was to launch its santa clause ad campaign in July it would be a hit.

In downtown Erbil the Citadel was lit up in lights and the street were lined with Baba Noel. This was times 10 in Ainkawa, the Christian suburb where I work. The village has lights strung up every square inch, and each church (there’s about one every two blocks – complete with services in Aramaic!) was transformed into what resembled Pagodas. I wish I could say that it was all very tasteful, but they only sell lights strings here that have two settings – blinking and seizure inducing. The default is seizure inducing.

As for activities a bit closer to home, there is actually a lot of “us” aidworkers sticking around for the holiday season. Most people are on a rotation, and only so many people are allowed to be out of the country at one time. The predominant force behind our Christmas celebrations was the International Committee of the Red Cross who mandated themselves to be the party organizers – with the bulk of the activity occurring on Christmas eve. Members of my household had to negotiate a Christmas day lunch into the agenda before the Swiss ran away with the fun.

Despite it being over 15C outside, we had a fantastically normal Christmas Eve cocktail party with presents and a proper, albeit late, Christmas lunch the following day. I even made mince pies and pfeffernuessen. Boxing day involved obligatory leftovers and a day full of James Bond. So it wasn’t too far off a regular Christmas in southern Ontario. Although it would still have been much better if I were at home.

Now to continue celebrations this week, I will be heading to Beirut and Damascus (finally!) for the New Year. And I will be “home” (o.k. Vancouver… but same country) in February.

I hope that everyone had a lovely holiday. They slept a lot and ate more. I also wish you all the best for 2010.

March 6th!!!

We have a date. Elections were originally for the end of January. To coincide with what's stated in the.... I don't know... constitution. After much back and forth, sqwabbling, vetoing, concessions and compromises the new election law was passed in the wee hours of the morning yesterday.

The election is now set for March 6th 2010, 49 days past its last proposed date. It gives ample time for campaigning, but also for the security surrounding the elections to deteriorate. Much like today, when a series of coordinated bombings targeting government buildings, public areas, Al Mustensari University and the Institute of Fine Arts. It is believed that over 120 people were killed and 450 injured. Those numbers are likely to rise - sadly following November - the month with the least amount of violence related deaths since the start of the 2003 war.

Here's hoping that everything calms itself down!

Photo Credit: Dennis Hollingsworth

Inukshuks in Northern Iraq

There are a lot of rocks up here. As well as building materials. Erbil itself is essentially one giant consrtuction site. It may be considered the perfect place to bring in a great Canadian tradition of Inukshuk markings?

Although the rocks aren't ideal - smaller and rounder rather than the bigger, flatter shield cast offs - it is still a great way to pass time in villages.




Not sure what the locals will think of this.

Bling, bling

Everytime I come around yo city
Bling bling
Pinky ring worth about fifty
Bling bling

It's a good time to be an Iraqi parliamentarian! France 24 reported on a Iraq's law makers approving a massive personal budget and payrise, plus other lavish perks.

Under the law, an MP will have a monthly budget of around 25,500 dollars (17,230 euros) encompassing a salary of 8,450 dollars and allowances for up to 30 staff, primarily security... They will receive 80 percent of their MP salary as a pension for 10 years after they retire, as well as a plot of land of up 600 square metres

They will also be receiving diplomatic passports for themselves are their family members, good for the rest of their lives.


You can imagine this has stirred some controversy in a country where unemployment has skyrockted, particularly after ministries cut government jobs, and where 2 million + people are displaced with little to no help from the government. This is an astronomical amount of money in comparison to what an average (employed) Iraqi makes. The organisation I work for pays between $400 - and $700 a month for support staff, and $1000 - $2000 a month for operations/program staff depending on experience and qualifications. This is an international organisation - which is seen (outside of plum government postings) as la creme de la creme of salary options.

Religious leaders have been speaking out about this in mosques. This is great because the government has also started heavily censoring media through lawsuits for defamation. They have sued papers such as the Guardian and the New York Times, and kicked Al Jazeera out of the country. The fines have been heavy (upwards of 10's of thousands)- payable by the big names, but stiffling for local media (especially if their paper is forced to close).

Reporters Without Borders reported that news outlets have been been prevented from objectively reporting on internal security - even when it is massive breach - such as the August Baghdad Bombings. Therefore it is unlikely that much will get out about this.

Photo: IDP Camp, contested areas. Author's own

Changing face of child protection

The UN's SRSG for Children in Armed Conflict released a report on changing affects of armed conflict on children, particularly noting the increase use of sexual violence against children. Topics such as child soldiers and the effect on a child's education wer discussed as well, but this report takes yet another move at highlighting the use of rape as a common tool of warfare - particularly against girls.

The relese date of the report to the General Assembly (August 6) coincided with Hillary Clinton's trip to the Democratic Republic of Congo where rape is endemic. It has been estimated that 3,500 women have been raped in the DRC this year alone. Men and children are not immune from this either. Attrocities are carried out by all sides, leaving the general population with nowhere to turn and few to trust. But will Clinton's outspokeness towards the Congolese government on the topic of sexual violence or papers released by the UN calling on the world to protect children from this form of abuse change anything?

Unlikely.

Rape was first declared a war crime after the Bosnian war in 1996 with the indictment of 8 Bosnian Serb Military Policemen for their connection with the rape of Muslim Bosnian women. It was the first time a sexual assault case was brought to the Hague as a war crime in its own right. Since then, rape has been included in war crime indictments, including that of Omar al Bshir's. This hasn't changed anything, in fact, the widespread use of rape as a weapon or even as a effect of conflict may be increasing.

Many of my female colleagues here in Iraq report that the lawlessness of the past few years has contributed in a rise of violence against women. What is more frightening is the number of deaths of young women due to sexual violence, either from honour killings, suicide or homocide. One former colleague, who splits her time between Mosul and Kirkuk, stated that because of the lack of rule of law men rape and kill women just because they are good looking. Coupled with a sexually repressive society, where shame for sexual violence falls on women and girls, one can only imagine the restrictions now placed on daughters, sisters and wives.

In the report, the UN calls on greater involvement of children in the peacemaking process and more importantly to mainstream child protection into all activities. But more is needed. From a young age education on gender equality is needed, and less separation of the sexes is reqired (I'm not a huge cultural relativist). Young women need to be encouraged into non-traditional roles such as the police force, law making, and even the army - such as in Liberia. Sex education is needed for children and young adults. And finally, and most importantly - gender-based violence programs are needed for everyone - children, adults, front-line workers such as police and health care workers - to remove the stigma of reporting and talking about sexual violence. To stop blaming victims and to empower survivors. This may just put a dent in the problem.

Delayed Doom and Gloom

I may or may not have on here, or amongst friends, predicted that things will intensify in the north. I still hold my ground, although its taking longer than expected. Not to make that sound like I want things to intesify. I'm just mearly stating a fact. The US Army is moving more troops up here to hopefully reduce tensions between the Iraqi Army and the Kurdish Peshmerga, Kurdish leaders have walked away from the governing council in Mosul claiming that the Arab council members are allowing Al Qaeda to flourish, Al Qaeda may be flourishing in Mosul (altough most information has been pointing to a reduction in their presence in the country... however Mosul seems to buck the trand on all accounts), and now there is a severe drought in the north increasing tensions.

Now I'm being told that Aid-Workers' resilience is beng put to the limits the field... Al Humdeliliah Eid is coming! In the mean time... this is the picture I always look at whenever I'm stressed.
Gets me every time.

For more information on this, please refer to people who write better than I do.
- On US Army plans for northern Iraq
- On the problems in Mosul
- On the water shortage
- On Aid workers' mental health

Medivac experience (I have a blog?)

So sorry for the delays. I haven't been posting because a) I burnt my right arm to a crisp and b) I then went on a computer-free vacation (much needed). Amazed by the ability of the human body to heal, I am now back to typing in a mere 4 weeks and have almost full motion of my hand.

So what happened. An IED? Insurgent firefight? After all I am in Iraq.

Well friends, I was in fact attacked... by a flame-throwing oven. All I wanted to do was bake some eggplant. A gas leak had filled up the stove with gas whilst I was cooking lentils on top of the stove. When I went to "turn on the gas" for the oven and "safely" light it with the barbecue lighter... KABOOM!

2nd/3rd degree burns on my hand and lower arm and a medical evacuation to Amman (although not on the cool medical planes... just on RJ).

I learned a few valuable lessons from this experience:

1) Where protective goggles whilst cooking
I was lucky enough to have been wearing my glasses when it happened. I lost all the hair on my face, and some on my head (not like MJ). Had I not had glasses I would have no eyebrows or eyelashes (managed to preseve those... phew). I think from now on I may wear my fire-retardent gloves too....

2) Always carry a satelite phone
Normally Iraq has semi-decent cell phone service. But then there are the days that the Vice President of the United States is speaking at the convention centre next to your house. Warlocks on the enire area jam cell phone signals, aking it impossible to use them in the even of an emergency. Fun.

We have a few satelite and sets that would link up in this event - but we couldn't find them so my roommate and I just ran out of the house screaming instead.

3) Occasionally be thankful you live in cushy ex-pat-ville
Screaming did not last for long as we realised that our cush sub-division had a fully western, fully operational private medical centre a block down. Complete with very good looking EMT-Practitioner that administers very "beautiful" (to quote my jordanian doctor) drugs.

4) When in doubt always assume the ambulance is for you and not for victims of swine flu
When mdeically evacuated, they pic you up in an ambulance. I am not sure it was fully needed in my case. My boss/emergency escort and I made the assumption that it was for something else when we approached it, and there staff were not there. So we went and had a coffee. It was for me and the staff had been wandering around the airport trying to find the "burn victim".

So when medivaced - yes the ambulance is for you, unless you want an excuse for a coffee break.

Happy U.S. Troop Pull-Out Day!

In the event of the US Army withdrawing from urban centres (there will still be 130,000 in the country), the governments in both Iraq proper and the KRG have called... of course... and official holiday! For those places south of Erbil, Dohuk and Sulaimaniyah, yes - this is a good move. Security wise, its good to have people at home with their families... up in the three northern governorates...

The organization I work for has a pretty strict policy on holidays. This came about because some countries have a tendancy to have a lot of them. Often impromptu. Iraq is no different. Because of this, my current organization gives 15 pre-determined days a year that staff can have as holidays. Anything extra is evaluated, but usually not granted.

I was working for another organization previously here in Iraq, and I can see why the 15 day rule is useful. In December of 2008 and 8, because of a combination of pre-determined holidays and impromptu holidays, I think my staff worked a total of 8 days the entire month. A little ridiculous. Between the KRG and the GOI, and many last-minute declared holidays (often the day before - with a phone call at 4pm from the Operations Manager saying - the government says there is a holiday tomorrow so we are not coming to work), which of course you need to give to staff in both areas, actual work can go a little slow.

Now in this case, my current organization has granted the holiday for June 30th. But only for staff in the central regions (Baghdad, Anbar and Babylon) as a security precaution. We don't want people travelling around cities when we do not know what is going to happen. Our staff in Baghdad already has already faced difficulties working over that last two weeks because of all of the insecurities in the central region. We haven't, however, given the holiday to the northern staff. We'll see what morale is like in the office.

As for the pullout (or more appropriate "pullback"). On va voir!

For more on the US troop pull-out:
Washington post: Jubiliation in Iraq on Eve of US Pullback
NYTs: US leaves Iraqi Districts where anger still lingers

Sicilian-American Food from Turkmerica Hawler Style

Yesterday we had our first real "scare" of a potential IED threat in the city centre in a while. Nothing has been found as of yet, but there were loads and loads of under cover and uniformed Peshmerga and secret service everywhere. I'm torn between thinking potential violence leading up to the election or political ploy to show how safe the current government is making Erbil. I wouldn't put it past them – a lot of these ministries are shameless in trying to get exposure on anything they can – particularly if it's going to make those dreaded "islamists" look worse.

Kurds like their vices – especially alcohol. And they like being Kurdish first. I think the likelihood of this region switching over to radical Islam in one election is unlikely. But that is just me.

And don't get me wrong – I take my IED threats very seriously. I won't be going to the market or crowded places all the way up to the elections. Maybe even after. I'm really trying to not become complacent in the belief that the KRG is safe (which it's not – there's a reason they have serious checkpoints everywhere) especially after moving up from Baghdad. I just wonder sometimes…

In other news – it is the weekend and I'm looking forward to meal prepared by a friend who lives part-time in Turkey. Meaning it will include ingredients that we can only dream of here… like maybe avocado, canned tomatoes (not tomato paste), or whole grain rice!!!! I may be getting ahead of myself but TGIT!

Cool as a Cucumber

It's pretty much sweltering here. With temperatures averaging in high 30s (I know, I know, it will get hotter… I was here last summer too). What amazes me though is how quick it cam on. It seems like only a month ago I was still wearing a sweater at night and complaining that it was too cold out to wear t-shirts. Now I can't even thing of spending more than 5 minutes outside of an air-conditioned space between the hours of 8am – 8 pm.

I think things in Erbil (a sneaking suspicion) may heat up here too in other ways. Things have been pretty kinetic down Mosul way (as usual) but in a different sort of way. Now that the arab political parties have seized power, the violence has shifted to the Kurdish population (or more specifically the peshmerga) effectively blocking the arab politicians from accessing anywhere they deem to be "Kurdish" areas. Whilst doing this, they are also denying many of the people in these areas essential public services… then blaming it on the current, majority Arab government (I'm sure this tactic was also used in reverse when the kurds held power there). This has led to clashes between the Iraqi forces and the Kurdish Peshmerga (the KRG's army).

Now I'm no expert in political science… (maybe a master…) But I'm pretty sure somewhere in Statebuilding 101 they go over how more than one army in a country (particularly armies that represent different ethnic groups and exclusively responsible for certain… contested areas) could set you up for future… don't know… disasters.

To boot, the GOI is now stoking the fire with the Kirkuk question again. To be honest… rightly so. The country should have voted on the status of Kirkuk (KRG or GOI?) many moons ago, but both the GOI and the KRG have put it off for various reasons. This has enraged the KRG and maybe some of the reasons (amongst many) of the upswing (again) of violence in that contested area.

Now I'm bring all of this up because on June 25 there are suppose to be elections here in the KRG. I'm curious to see what will happen in and around the "safe" region of Iraq. Whilst it seems that everywhere along the green line is going to hell in a handbag, here is still cool (ok hot) and calm. I'm not a fear mongerer. I like to give people and places the benefit of the doubt. I am, however, a realist. And to my knowledge the KRG has its fingers in too many pots – where they happen to be stirring some serious shit. It's only a matter of time.

Then again, the GOI provincial elections went off without a hitch… stranger things could happen.

Not your typical disaster...

All of our staff from Baghdad had come up for a week long training. To celebrate the first time we had gotten all of the organisation's staff together for the first time, we went on a day-long excursion through the mountains north of Shaklawa (Erbil, KRG). It's beautiful up there – very mountainous, with lots of areas to picnic and hike. Erbil governorate being relatively safe allows you to travel pretty freely without any fears of roadside bombs or sketchy check-points, which gave our Baghdad staff freedom they would not normally have.

Here are two anecdotes from the trip.

The KRG approach to nature conservation: "Cover it in concrete and nothing will touch it"

Bekhan is one of my favourite places in the whole country because it is… well… absolutely fascinating. Bekhan has a large natural spring that spills into a giant waterfall. It's where most of the bottled water in the KRG comes from. They have built a treatment plant conveniently and directly beside the waterfall…

Surrounding the waterfall there is a picnic area where people can camp and eat. It's not your typical picnic area that you would find in many places. Instead, to preserve the waterfalls natural beauty, the government has covered the entire area with concrete. To boot, stalls up on stalls of shops selling Chinese junk and Turkish junk food have been opened up surrounding the entire picnic area, which is 3 floors and works it way up through the waterfall itself, connected by a series of very uneven and dangerous concrete steps. The area is completely covered with corrugated tin roofing, and plastic lawn chairs and tables scatter the area. What is more, the whole are has connecting "steams" of water from the spring that run through concrete channels. Due to a lack of garbage cans… and most patrons inability to throw anything in one most of these streams are filled wit refuse from picnics and snacks. It's truly an amazing site/sight.

Theme parks… Yes I said Theme park.

As I was speeding down a hillside on a rollercoaster I thought to myself… maybe this isn't the best idea I've had in while. I have been on some scary midway rides before at less than well maintained community fun fairs before, but a rollercoaster at a theme park in the developing world? In a war zone no less? Then it hit me, the irony of it all. In one of the most dangerous countries in the world, I may fall to my death or be seriously injured not by a suicide bomber or an ambush, but in fact, a carnival ride. The news papers back home would write: "Canadian female, 26, seriously injured in Iraq on midway ride". Instead of sympathy, that maybe my family deserves more than me, we would get: "It serves her right… what the heck was she doing on a rollercoaster in Iraq?" This turned my minute-long joy-ride into a thrill-ride of sorts.

All in All – I clearly made it out alive. To report, the Bumper Cars were more fun, the rollercoaster wasn't really a rollercoaster per say, it was cars on tracks that went down a spiral on the side of mountain – and I must say looked fairly well maintained. I didn't touch the Ferris Wheel though. I had to draw the line somewhere.

Spring comes to Iraq

Things seem like they are starting to improve - with Baghdadis taking pride once again in their city. But fortification still remains, attacks are becoming more targeted and sophisticated and summer is coming. Spring is the nicest time of year here, with temperatures moderate 24-hours a day. The weather is glorious in Erbil, but a glorious spring for the entire country? Maybe next year baghdad...

Iraq's false spring